Hey-O

Wow. Hi. Hello. It's been awhile, hasn't it.

So, here's the deal. Oh, wait, I don't need to inform of you, I forewarned you that coming here is, pretty much, in all seriousness, a stupid idea.

But now, I would come. Because, I am recommitted. Kind of. As in, if I have time, I just might happen to remember I have this little space of internet, and decide to unveil some language on you, most likely of the English variety, American version.

Which gets me off; why, considering the pretty substantial differences between English and the English Americans speak (I mean, don't tell me I was the only one who was vehement that colour was spelled wrong. If I was a gambling little seven year old kid, I would have bet my mommy and daddy that I was right. I would have been an orphan like *that*), why don't we just call our language American. I mean, what is the harm? For serious. What is the possible downside. And, when explaining to kids why the British add random and completely unnecessary 'u' to everything, you can simply say that they speak a different language.

"English is awfully similar to the American you learned little Bobby", you could say, "but they have a quite an odd fetish with the letter u. Not really sure why. No more questions, Bobby, just accept it as fact. Accept it, dammit!"

That would, of course, be a PTA President mom. Only they are crazy enough to beat children without a mental condition. Because, you see, PTA is a brainwashing organization. Well, I guess that's not true. It is just the biggest time-sucker out there, and that is including a job. Honestly, you could work less while having three full-time jobs.

Which brings me to my favorite part about PTA. People often refer to it as the PTA Association, showing off their completely idiotic brains. What do you think the A stand for, people? America? Awesome? Attatched? Analogous? Ape? No, while all of those are compelling possibilities, the A does, in fact, stand for the word Association. Therefore, by calling it the PTA Association, you are being repetitively redundant. You catch that?

That is like UMB Bank. You might not have heard of it, it is a regional specific bank and the region is Missouri and the closely surrounding areas, a region that pretty much no one gives a shit about. Still, and I'm sure you've guessed it by now, but guess what the UMB stands for.

Uh-uh.

You've got it.

Unborn Midget Babies.

No?

Oh, wrong UMB. Sorry.

It stands for United Missouri....wait for it......it's worth the wait, I promise.........Bank. Therefore, the whole idea of calling it UMB Bank is, well, very Missouri. Not to isolate an entire state or anything from this-here blarg, but it isn't like anyone's eyes are actually unfortunate enough to grace these words, are they?

OK, that's all that I've got. For serious, I've got to go nighty-night.

But seriously, hopefully I post again sometime before September. I know, I know, don't get too ambitious on you guys. I promise I'll always stay grounded in the procastanistic, do-it-when-I-get-to-it ways of marijuana smokers. Not to say that I smoke the marry-j's or anything.

But seriously, the weed is bad for you. Don't do it.

But seriously, really don't do drugs. They screw up your system, or something like that (DARE, you wanna help me out?).

But seriously.